eventhough it's only the 19th, i feel like the month is wrapping up already. and i've never felt so restless. two assigments due next week and the week after, and i'm not even halfway through to completing even ONE. Advertising final assignment isn't as stressful as Marketing Overview assignment. i don't know where the hell to begin for that one. jeez.

and my dad's condition now is so not good.. he's back with the hallucinations and i PRAY it won't last over a week like the previous one. eventhough it was Anis our helper, who look after him most of the time, i just can't stop worrying about them. i mean, whenever he hallucinates, it's like he's pumped with energy and he can move around faster than the usual, strong enough to punch someone, even. yes, it's that scary. so i'm just afraid he'd try to get up by himself. although he moves better, he's still not strong enough to stand on his two feet. which means if he tries to get up he'll definitely fall flat.

apart from hurting himself, i'm also worried he'd hurt Anis. especially when no one's at home. it's a good thing i'm not working today and that both of my grandparents are around. not that they can pin my dad down if he ever becomes aggressive, it's just that my family realise that he won't give that much attitude if there are guests at our house. i think my paternal grandma will only stay over for tonight. so tomorrow when she goes home, i leave for school and no one's around, i hope Anis won't have so much difficulty looking after him.

side project for the school is drawing to a close soon. i think. i've already contacted the two vendors and i think Shuyi has chosen the vendor to print the vinyl stickers. idk if i'm happy with the designs i did for the signages to put around the school. it's supposed to be simple, but it looks dead simple, almost boring. nonetheless, i hope once we've put them up, it'd look suuuweeet. but don't take that last sentence as a sign that i'm stress-free about the side project. it's quite a headache. sigh.

another side project which is not school-related, is making me a worrywart. it's not helping that the computer in my room broke down AGAIN, some weeks back and my cousin's been fixing it eversince. so i'm Adobe-less, and THAT in itself is the most unfortunate thing to happen to someone who needs it almost everyday. i'm like a fish out of water. ok that's slightly exaggerating but it's the only thing/phrase i can relate myself with. so now i can't work on that project, but i've handed over the responsibility to my web-designer classmate. he's like The King in our school when it comes to web-design. even the school seeked his help. so yeap, i hope he'll deliver it well. so to the lovely couple at Frrust!: i hope u'd already received my email, and i'll look forward to your reply. an eternity of apology i ask from you. ):

the reprints of my Year 1 FYP are causing slight headache. ok by headache i don't literally mean headache-need-panadol-extra, but just something that can get me all kanchiong. i did some mistakes with the reprinted documents and how i feel like bitchslapping myself then. seriously. i'm not really a perfectionist, but i guess the fact that the school's gonna keep my work and maybe display it, kind of build that pressure up. ah whatever. 90% of them look fine anyway so i'm not gonna let the small flaws a big issue.

well to sum things up, August makes me one fine kanchiong spider. i may appear relax, smiling and all, procrastinating on the assignments.. but i guess as of this week onwards, i'd be a dead duck if i don't progress. god damnit Belle get ur brain working!!!

last but not least, on the emotional side, idk how, or what to feel anymore. it's lost as well. lost in the lalang. but for some reason, as i'm typing this, i feel like i miss something. someone. hmm. maybe the emotion's finally finding its way back home. that's always a good sign. and a good start to end the month.