i couldn't help feeling like i'm always rushing for things but yet i still take my own sweet time idling with.. my mere laziness. it almost feels like i'm not interested with anything at all, but i don't think i actually show it. not that i want to show it. i know it's mostly my school assignments which due this Monday and i only had one done this morning. i'll start with the second one right after this. blogging is just a little time-out i give myself.

well, school is just one thing. for the other, i honestly am not quite sure what. i totally feel disconnected with friends for the past few days. idk. it's just different. and yesterday just had to happen. the subject of it was nothing new. and that's the sickening part. it'll be just a another few more weeks before the whole cycle starts again. i should've been used to it by now. it'd be so much easier to handle when it happens again in the future. but that's the annoying bit. i can never get used to it. because i guess to hope for something different isn't doing any good. i bet the other person thinks the same way too.

i realise that lately, i'm prone to, erm, cry to myself. of course without anyone knowing. it's probably due to all the stress and thoughts of time and money that i'm always chasing after, which is always very hard to catch up with. i thought by distracting myself by burying my nose in New Moon, getting engrossed and in love with the fictitious characters would load some invisible weigths off me but as it turns out, every single page describes love, fear, chasing for time and chances. how ironic.

i don't know how tomorrow will turn out. i'm likely to get an m.c. from work, considering the many more things i have yet to complete in my assignment. and i totally forgot about this event thing i volunteered for this Friday and Saturday. more time being away from assignments, more time i need to complete it. and time is definitely not gonna spare me any more. you may say "i told you so", of which you are right. just don't be mad at me.


4 years 2 months.
happy anniversary. (: