well, those are just some of the words to describe yours truly. for those who have experienced hardships and disappointment all because of me, i bet they have better and stronger vocabs to define me.
lately i've been going through emotional roller coaster rides that are just terribly awful. i wasn't being myself. last Wednesday, if i'm not wrong, i got all cranky and stuff.. Thursday too. it's an unfortunate thing that Dear got stuck in it and we ended up ending our late-night tele convos with a sour face. and yesterday - was the worst. absoulte worst. i ain't gonna elaborate it here coz it's the kind of thing Dear and i would rather keep it to ourselves and share it with no one. but still, i was horrible. i'm willing to take the blame for all that. but it's not like i'm looking for sympathy by saying all this, but because it's the truth.
i'm not like how you long for me to be, i'm not like some girls you're hoping i'd be. and i'm sorry for that. i've tried changing for the better but i always ended up being the total opposite. i know you like me like that too, but at the same time, i am aware that you hope for something.. erm, how shall i put it.. sweeter? i shan't make promises now, coz they're over-rated and it'd be another breakdown for the both of us if i fail to fulfill it. so i'm just gonna say, i'll try. i prolly need some extra time and.. a lot more observation.
for what it's worth, i still love you with all my heart. i just don't know if i deserve to be loved back. but i have a feeling we're able pull this through.. just like how we did the last time when we went through something like this. ♥
Mercy
Duffy
11:27 AM