how cool is that? of course it's not cool at all lah dummy. fyi, i'm really disappointed. and amidst this huge disappointment, i admit i'm bold enough to actually print-screen a portion of the result. asjbhewtf!! i wanted that course in RP so badly but all hope is lost now. Lydia and Stacy, who both chose to go RP, managed to get in, and Stacy's GPA point is the same as mine. yet i wasn't chosen.
i called up RP's customer service hotline, asking how i should appeal for the course and the woman said they don't take in anymore students, coz all the courses are filled up. but i appealed again via email anyway. then Shasha called, saying she's gonna go NYP to appeal. after thinking through, i decided to do the same. an hour later Dear and i headed to RP, where i ran into Lydia and Azman. oh they both managed to get into Poly. i'm happy for them. (: so after a quick chat, we separate ways and Dear and i proceeded to the resgistration area where i asked the person-in-charge of my enquiries. and again, she told me (and showed me a document on her laptop as proof) that all courses for ICT is filled up. by that time i was desperate. but i still managed to put a fake front and smiled, trying to control my disappointment and asked if there is any other way they can do to squeeze me in or something. she just shook her head and insist that there's nothing they can do. sigh.
this feels worst than when i received my failed O-level result.
it's always easy to put a fake front. it's like sporting a happy-faced mask and act calm. but too bad my tears can't do the same. by just being silent, my mind's playing thoughts of 'what if i managed to get in', and all the what-if's you can think of. then tears will come to accompany the emotion. well misery loves company right. but i'm not saying that this unsuccessful attempt to get into Poly is really a misery lah, just that this is all i wanted, to get accepted. i want this more than i wanted a Sony mp3 since eons ago. i want this more than i wanted to go shopping. in fact, more than if i was offered a million dollar.. well ok maybe not that one. but you get the idea. i just wanted to prove to my parents that from ITE, i can still get my ass up to Poly. that is all.
but i believe i should not be so sad about this. i mean in terms of my performance in school, i know i did well for most of my assignments. i've never failed my modules. and my GPA point do qualify me to get into Poly. it's just a matter of certain people are picked to get in, while some are not. and unfortunately, i'm one of the people to be included with the rejected bunch. ha.
we left RP soon after and headed to Lot 1's library. and a hot fudge since being stress always leads me to indulge on food. and since then, i'm beginning to see things that connect with my feelings. i borrowed a book called What Happens Now by Jeremy Dyson. haha. and a line or two from the chorus for the song Stop and Stare by One Replublic link to it too. and when that happens, i jolly well know that paranoia is getting to me.
i shan't whine much about this now. i just would like to thank my bitch Lydia who's so determined in assisting me to get external help from Mr. Adam, and suggesting me to do this and that hoping i'd land myself a spot in RP. Shasha too. and Salih, who surprisingly has already started school in RP! bkn main maju itu anak. and also to the ever so cheerful sounding, Siti, for the encouraging text messages (and the direction to your school, haha). and of course, my dear crazy bf. sometimes it slipped my mind that i can count on you when it comes to figuring out what to do next if i find myself stuck in the dead end. have a great time later when school starts k? tapao for me the makcik's nasi ayam thousand island also. ^^v
in the meantime, while i can't further my studies, i'm gonna further my savings. lol. will go job-hunting this Monday. if y'all have any recommendations just tag away. but don't bother if your offer is to work at bars or anywhere where they have alcohol or play techno/trance music. haha. no offence, but that's my job-hunting requirements. hahahahahaha. well i hope Shasha's appeal is a success. coz her GPA is like sky high and she deserves to continue her studies in Poly. well here's to a brighter future for everyone. (:
Never Too Late
Three Days Grace
6:41 PM