now that november's here, and the end of the year is drawing oh so near, things seem to be in some sorta fast-forward motion. what with all the birthday celebration plans, booking of chalets that are yet to be confirmed.. it seems like there're lots more than just those two. hmm, maybe it's coz i'm too horrified by the idea of escalating to the big TW-OH years old (20-yrs old, if you don't get what i mean)! knowing how half mature and half child-like attitude that i've been cultivating, i feel like i don't deserve to be of age 20. lol i honestly do not know how to put it all to words, but ask my dearest boifey and i bet he can do a better job at telling you how kiddy i can be.

headed down to jurong yesterday to see dear and the rest of the guys play soccer. junie was there too, and we had quite an interesting conversation about armpits and braces. hahahaha now that i'd put those two words together (armpits and braces) i just had this sudden vision of armpit hair stuck to your braces. XD lmao i have NO friggin' idea why, but it's just one of those spontaneous stupid thoughts. lolol. anyway.. lately, dear and i have made it a habit to drop by jurong and just hang out with the usuals, and i swear dear had wished a zillion times to have been brought up and make jurong his hometown, just like the rest of them. lol. and now as i'm typing this, he's down there with them, prolly just sitting down and watch them play takraw.

alright, let's switch the topic from friends to.. the future. youk now, i only have about 6 months or so to complete my ITE education. and if you think about it, if i can't make it to poly after i graduate from ITE, i might just have nothing else to do, if i'm still unemployed. and that's when it hit me. coz you see, by the time i graduate in around may-june next year, the registration to enter poly (or whatever you call it) has ended, meaning i prolly gotta wait for the 2009's polytechnic registration to open so i can land myself a place in IT in one of the campuses. and even if i'd succeed to get into poly, how old would i be once i graduate? erm, either 23 or 24? wakao. i should be working by then, already! and maybe get married a year or 2 years after that! lolol. ok ok, marriage is just as important but it's better to get myself a stable job first, right? and honestly speaking, if i were to go look for a job as.. whatever it is that matches my IT education here, i'm not certain i'd be employed coz i'm not even at all confident with my skills that i have so far. well i love Flash, and so far i reeeaaalllyy got the hang of it which is a good thing. but i'm sure there is more than just working with Flash when i'm out in that 'working environment' later.

sigh. am i just too paranoid about this? i love school, love love looovvee it, but i know at some point in my life i gotta end my school life and get a real job and save up for my future use. but still, i don't wanna still be that full-time school kid by the age of 24, 25, etc. unless i'm in the university lah, but who am i to be in such position right? so yeah. i may sound like i'm rushing on this, but if i don't spare a thought for this, i'm afraid i might just end up with nothing. and no, i don't regret going to ITE or whatever. i just lack of confidence for myself, i guess. like, if i'm so damn good like hell with the course that i'm in right now, i bet i'd definitely be employed on-the-spot once they see my portfolio or whatever y'all call it. hahaha. well here i go, dreamin' yet again. arrgghh thinking about your future at 19 is so mind-ripping! then later at 20 how? haiya.

well. i'll end here. till then.



Apologise
Timbaland