Dear reached home at 7 this morning, due to his work that ended oh-so mighty late last night. & up till now, he still hasnt replied to my messages. he must be daaaaaaaamn tired, to not even hear his sms ringtone go off. & i'll be off to my grandma's house later (for a family gathering of breaking fast) & i need to hear his voice, even if it's just a mere 30 minutes. i dint get to speak to him much yesterday. or maybe not at all? he rang me up at almost 3 this morning, just to check up on me. but i had already carried myself to sleep so much so that we hung up in like 10 mintes after.

& here's the thing. im thinking of skipping work tmr, since it'll be our 1year anni. & im thinking of throwing an excuse of 'having to accompany my mom to the hospital for a check-up in the morning', to the supervisor. hmm, lying on a fasting month? well not really, considering that my mom will be going for a check-up tmr. just alone. im starting to feel bad if i were to work on our anni, tho i suppose i could ask for a 1hour early departure if i skip my 1hour lunch break. meaning.. i'd knock-off at 5.30pm. but thats still not enough. i mean the time's too lmited for us to like meet up, look for a restaurant/place to dine in.. & after that, go home. like ala, how can. tk best uh gini sei. sigh. im short of cash, & i want this to be special. like a-whole-day-out-with-him-having-picnic-for-dinner special. that kind of thing. idk.

but if i skip work tmr, what shall i say to my mom? what i have in mind, is to tell her im too tired to work, & that i could always help her make some hari raya cookies. but but if i wanna spend my day out, i doubt she'd approve. she might think that i might not be fasting behind her back, & be eating out before the actual time to break our fast. my mom is capable of cooking up some weird, way over the top kind of ideas thats just.. eurgh. like the other time; i spent almost the whole day sticking my face to the computer, & she got all 'worried sick' & almost panic, coz she thought i was watching some porn video & crap like that.

"kau buat ape tu main computer lamer2? kau jgn tgk bende tk senonoh eh, bende sex sex gitu!"

T______T i got so frustrated that i had to raise my voice, saying dont watch all those, etc etc. gah my mom can be sooooooo freaking typical i cant stand it. i think she was just trying to be a concern mother, help to prevent her children frm drowning into these unhealthy sexual activities.. but i think she started it off in a wrong way. like weknuhtrbxzz! & this is all because of that overrated get-into-the-teens-mind, Hanyut. well i mean they should be aware that people like my mom exist, & people like my mom shouldnt watch that; coz my mom can get overly worried & this can cause frustration to everyone.

but thanks for the concern mom, you did your part very well in the family. it's just me, going against many things; ive yet to get these devil horns out of my head.

anyway. mom is making fried mee siam as im typing this -- & it's DELICIOUS, i might add -- & the smell of it is sooo tempting, i swear i could just break my fast right now if i give in. but nah, my tummy says she'll enjoy more of it if i just hold it in; coz she can. ^^v

ok enough of imaginary shit here. need to ring Dear up before he gets a split headache for sleeping too long. ciao.



mood confused
music the tv playing some cheesy background music