"GIVE THIS TRAGEDY A HAPPY ENDING."
now i guess thats just a sentence that doesnt mean anything. when initially, it DID mean something so much to me.

i never thought i would lost someone. well, not in a sense that she's gone for good like pass away, but lost as in.. we're strangers now? well thats what i think she sees it as. no one is to blame for this. each of us were just too egoistic & too stubborn & hard-headed to sit back, reflect & think things through. but what's done is done now. of course im sad, upset, & etc. & ive cried too much that i think ive cried myself dry already. but i doubt it.. anyway, somehow, i think that this is not the end. though things suck big time right now, my instinct tells me that there'll be a good turning point coming. soon or not, that, im not sure. but somehow i have a feeling that the sentence above might come true eventually. hmm. idk.

especially now that this incident has happened, it's like everyone (those who're invloved, inc me) suddenly remember to stop & realise what theyve done. now all those words of hatred passed on towards each other, are like another mistake that may or may not be taken back. those words will sure be playing in our minds, but for me, it will stick in my head & i have to admit it's not easy for me to forget what happened.

now how should i express how i feel about this. it's like, how you need both your mom & dad. for example, im not that close with my dad, as compared to how close i am with my mom. but still, i know i need my dad, my family needs my dad tho i rarely communicate much with him. thats how it is with me & them. & even if i dot talk with my dad often, at least i know we're in good terms & thats how i want things to be like.

i seriously hope things will get back fine. i really do.
however, im glad i still have him; i ♥ you Dear.
thanks for understanding my situation now.

im not sure if my pressure has been lifted up. or added more instead. well i guess right now, i'll just have to see how things are going & what the outcome will be. but still, im pinning my hope for the best. for me, & them. remember, i fxcking care for you both.



mood upset but ____.
music for fiona - no use for a name.